American Bearing Gifts

I take off for in just about 36 hours -- 12:30am Thursday morning. I've been talking to my friend S in Beijing almost daily for the last two weeks. She originally invited me to China and her family is going to be hosting me while in Beijing. She will also be traveling with me during most my visit. She's been reminding me not to forget to bring gifts for her family. This is an important custom and much of the impression I make upon them rides on it.

Yesterday, she told me her brother wants a cowboy knife. I guess President Clinton gave one to Premier Zemin when he visited China back when he was in office and her brother wants one just like it. Or well, a close approximation (as I'm sure that one was specially crafted and cost thousands of dollars.) I suggested maybe a Dodgers jersey instead. No, he wants a knife. I told her that I have no experience buying knives and that even if I pack it in my checked bags, I'll probably be flagged as a terrorist threat. Besides, I'm sure all the popular retail cowboy knives nowadays are made in China anyway. S insists that her brother insists on the knife.

I tried to explain that Clinton's gift doesn't really accurately reflect America. No real American carries a knife any more. We all carry guns.